Say you love me
by Little Miss Insufferable
Summary: Alec and Ellie deal with the aftermath of the accusations of their affair.


Minutes after he arrives home, there's a loud repetitive knock on Alec's front door. Instinctively he already knows who it is. The glass door doesn't need to be in his line of sight for him to be certain of DS- no, PC Miller's presence on the other side of it. He barely gets the door open a crack before she's bursting into his house with all the ire of an enraged bear.

"So now not only did I beat my husband senseless to force a murder confession out of him, but I've also been fucking you on the side all along!" Ellie cries indignantly as she spins on the spot to face him in a whirl of outrage.

"Miller-," Alec begins in a deliberately placating tone. He's cut off before he can further his attempt to calm her.

"No, don't you 'Miller' me! You're not the one who's going to be brandished the town whore! Poor old Mr. Miller framed as the murderer of little Daniel Latimer by his adulterous wife to get him locked up in prison so she's free to fuck her boss instead!" She's close to screaming now; her eyes brim with tears as her voice raises to just a few decibels short of shrill. The way her fingers clench into fists at her sides makes Alec worry that she's close to throwing things at him.

"You're not the only one affected by this, you know! I've already been labelled as Britain's worst detective by the press, without adding framing a man for murder and shagging you into the mix!" The logical part of his brain knows that this isn't the time to be arguing, but Miller has always had a knack for riling him up.

If it's possible, Ellie's anger seems to escalate further. "Yes but you didn't grow up here! This isn't your town! These aren't your friends sitting at home passing judgement on you for cheating on your husband! This is my town and now- now they-," the rest of the sentence disappears into an unintelligible sob as her anger finally gives way to gut-wrenching misery.

Alec isn't a hugging sort of man, far from it, but it would take someone with far less of a conscience than him to resist taking the sobbing woman in front of him into his arms. He moves awkwardly, closing the distance between them with a couple of hesitant strides and wrapping his arms around her as carefully as if he were hugging a mountain lion. She doesn't try to move away; in fact, she does quite the opposite. Grateful for the comfort of another human being, her fingers grip the lapels of his jacket as she buries her face in the material of his crisp white shirt. It'll be stained with tears afterwards, but Alec thinks it's a small price to pay to still the shudders that wrack through Ellie's body as she sobs.

"It's okay." He breathes after a few moments of waiting in silence for Ellie's sobs to subside. "I'll fix this." It's a promise he's not entirely sure he'll be able to keep, but he thinks he'll die trying anyway. Death is something he's thought about a lot since his heart started packing up. He often wonders in the morning if today will be the day he over does it and his heart gives in altogether. Now he's thinking that Ellie wouldn't be a bad person to die for.

She interrupts his thoughts with a shake of her against his chest. Then she's pulling back from him and wiping furiously at her tear-stained cheeks. "I'm sorry." She blurts out with her eyes on the floor; they rise to meet his a few seconds later and there's sympathy in his gaze. "I don't know what came over me."

Alec sighs, the sound weary as his hand comes up to run through the unruly mess of hair on his head. "You're angry, and understandably. The defence for this case is ludicrous and right now they're clutching at straws to try to take the blame off of Joe. For some reason we've ended up directly in their line of fire." Any anger he might have felt earlier has gone out of him, only to be replaced with sheer exhaustion. There are dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and Ellie frowns when she notices them. He thinks she might be about to lecture him on getting his eight hours every night but her thoughts seem to dart elsewhere.

"You're damn right it's ludicrous. Why the hell would we be having an affair? I mean for god's sake you'd probably keel over and die on me halfway through in your state!" Ellie waves a hand in his direction and he can't help but feel a little indignant.

"Hey now- I'm not some decrepit old man!" Alec argues with a pointed jab of his finger towards Ellie. She rolls her eyes and he thinks he probably looks like a petulant child with the way he glowers back.

"No, but you've got a bloody heart condition!" There's more adamant gesturing in his direction.

"Well I can still do-," Alec pauses, gesturing vaguely "that."

Ellie shakes her head in despair. "I can't believe we're even talking about this… it's completely ridiculous."

"Yes- of course. Completely ridiculous." He agrees half-heartedly as his fingers find their way into his hair again. Apparently he doesn't sound convincing enough because he catches the way Ellie's eyes widen in alarm shortly after he makes the statement.

"Oh god… You don't think it's ridiculous, do you?" Disbelief is prominent in her voice as she makes the accusation. She stares at him in anticipatory silence for what seems like an eternity.

"Miller…" Alec finally begins, but the rest of his sentence trails off uselessly. It's enough to confirm Ellie's suspicions in an instant.

"Oh god- Alec, no- really? How can you not be completely repulsed by the idea of you and me?" Shock joins disbelief as Ellie stares at him with wide eyes.

"Why would I be repulsed? There's nothing wrong with you. You're not… hideously ugly or anything." He says it matter-of-factly; as though he's stating the day of the week or explaining that the Earth revolves around the sun.

"But I'm me!" She argues vaguely in a voice nearing the region of shrill once more. "And you're you!"

"Yes, well observed Miller." Alec remarks dryly. He lets out a heavy sigh and shakes his head. "Let's just drop it, okay? This is the last thing we need to be worrying about with this trial still on the go." It's a desperate attempt to veer the conversation away from the more personal aspects of his life and back towards the murder trial that plagues his thoughts on an hourly basis. It's probably not normal to be more comforted by thoughts of criminal trials over those of romance and feelings. Several moments of silence pass and he thinks that Ellie has let the matter pass. It's only when he opens his mouth to speak again that she interrupts him.

"Do you have feelings for me?" She blurts out, leaving Alec to stare at her speechlessly. How on earth can he be expected to answer a question like that?

"Miller-," he begins, but is quickly halted in his attempt to avoid the question.

"Answer the question, Alec." Ellie demands forcefully. They stand in silence for several moments before Alec finally shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe. I don't know… this is ridiculous, Miller. We have a trial to worry about; the last thing anybody needs is-,"

"Oh just shut up." Ellie interrupts yet again, and Alec barely has time to formulate a coherent thought before her mouth is on his and his brain is no longer functioning effectively.


End file.
